What would life be like without social media?

Ever wonder why most people need, or at least think they need, social media? It's because we seek validation. We always want to feel wanted and accepted; no one wants to feel like they don't belong. That's because we're human. I've been there. I've been there when I sat in silence in a group of 20 or so people and realized that there wasn't a single one of them that I could really call a friend; I've been there when I saw one of my friends alienate me simply because I didn't have some "standards". But have you ever thought about who we are looking to for validation? Who are we trying to prove ourselves to? Let me tell you what life would be like without social media.

Your private life will not be a public gallery.

The first and most important thing about life without social media; you will learn what a private life really means. You will find that no one cares what you had for breakfast or how your Friday night went; because it's true. They don't care about your personal details, you simply grant them access to see them. You will know what to share with whom; dedicate it to someone who really cares about you; not to some stranger or even some acquaintance, no one can reach you anytime, anywhere, your life will be your own. Your privacy will bring you closer to the people who care about you.

You don't take pictures because you're wearing a nice dress.

Who keeps wanting to talk about how amazing an outfit someone might be wearing, or keeps wondering if they look good enough just to "fit" some superficial person who only cares about how they should look? How many times have you thought an outfit was wasted because it wasn't photographed? There's more to life than that, I think you know. 

No more photos of fake "happy" moments.

I'm sure you all have at least one of them; I'm sure you've all experienced these meaningless outings filled with people with smartphones capturing every detail of the day, people who you don't get along with. It's exhausting, it's scary, and it brings up negative emotions. I'm pretty sure it doesn't sound very pleasant for you either, and you're better off without it. 

You'll cut some ties.

By that I mean people who are less important or not important at all. You have a brain that gets exhausted from meaningless interactions with a few people. Ever wonder why it feels so heavy at times? It's as if you just need to get rid of the human noise; complete silence. Science has proven that the inner circle of the human brain can sustain five relationships; and 150 in their outer circle. Of course, you know the definition of the outer circle: acquaintances (n). These are people who know you by name and only by your first name. You may have had occasional conversations, but you cannot call them friends. This outer circle is called the Dunbar number, because it is informally interpreted as "the number of people you would not be embarrassed to meet for an uninvited drink if you happened to run into them at a bar". Now, who do you think would apply to this? 

No more pretending to look flawless.

No more obsessing over pretty people, no more editing out flaws and filtering out poor quality stuff. Because who cares? We only do filters just because it might decorate reality for the eyes of strangers. It's sad to see people still posting for likes and probably sad to see that it's just a superficial version of life. They may not care about a person's qualities and what they are capable of. They only care about posting about their "perfect" life on Instagram. They only care about getting the perfect Instagram shot to capture hearts and minds. They only care about what a person is wearing, where they are spending their summer, where they are shopping, who they are dating, are they dating rich people? No? So they have to look good? Yes? And on and on it goes. Tracking random profiles, scrolling, clicking on totally different things, and suddenly noticing that you've been doing this for over an hour. Is this really what you want to do all day? Why does it always seem to "post online or not happen"? Don't let it get to you. Because numbers don't define your value; and your value is never diminished because others don't see it. I quit all social media for three whole months. It was the best, most peaceful three months I've ever had. In those three months, most of my photos were taken in real moments; caught off guard, when I was being myself regardless of what others thought; it was more about the memories than just the evidence of it. I'm sure I'll do a long social media detox again. But next time, it could last forever. I think you should try it too. Give yourself a break and do more of the things you love. Be your own person.

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